Brackish Waters

how my gaming and life coalesce.

A Soldier’s Journal

——–
ArrivalTR_Dropship

I’m tired. I just want to sit down and try to process everything that I have seen and been through over the past week but they won’t let me.

I was brought to this world through some type of wormhole that ripped my face and soul apart and reassembled it on this godforsaken place. I think my body is still trying to piece together the muscle and tendon the same way my mind is attempting to cope with the loss of everyone I have ever known.

Everyone. That’s one of those words that when you say it over and over again, it loses its meaning and blends into this weird mush of sounds and slurs. Everyone.

I kind of wish my mind would just break down like that. What would it be like to lose all meaning and just become a blur of memories and intelligence. Why couldn’t I just have been one of the millions that are probably in some better place instead of this plane of war and fear? Can it be that easy? Can I just lay down here and let these strangers walk over me thinking “There goes another one.”

I doubt that anyone would even acknowledge my loss here as this drop-ship is so packed full of new arrivals like myself that opening the door would cause an avalanche of nervous bodies and I would be written off as a casualty.

Casualty. That’s another one.

“We are all hurting son. Now get off your ass and fall in line!”

The Sargent was cheerful. In a way, atleast he acknowledged my pain. Maybe that’s all I need here is some recognition, someone to realize how afraid and sad I am.

“You are not the medal-winning, honorary, valedictorian, brown nosing, ass kissing, piece of shit that you were on Earth. You are an AFS recruit and you WILL learn what it is to be a soldier.”

Not exactly what I expected.

“You will not speak until spoken to and you will address me as Sir. Do you understand me recruits?”

I echoed the crowds response just a little too late.

“Do you have a problem taking orders recruit?”
“No Sir” I replied to the Sargent now moving closer to my position in the throng of newbies.
“I think you do … Waters. Do you know what I am going to do for you Waters? I’m going to give you the best damn job that anyone in this shit-pile of humans can ever expect to get when they land here. Do you know what that job is?”
“No Sir.”
“Well then you are in luck Waters because you are now the Chief of Sanitation for this unit. You get to spend your hours after chow cleaning this beautiful piece of machinery we call an AFS Drop-ship.”
“Thank you Sir.”
“I want those walls and floors washed until you see your own reflection. Then I want them washed again until you see my reflection. Do you know why that is Waters?”
“Because the Sargent is more beautiful than this recruit Sir!”
“Because I will always be more beautiful than you recruit! Until the day you’re loaded onto that ship in a stretcher or couple of Ziploc baggies, you will always be ugly. Only when that day comes will you be a beautiful person.”

The Sargent finally moved away from me.

“You are all no longer the person you were on Earth. You are a piece of something much larger now and if you make it through this training you will become an instrument of the AFS. If all of you are as smart as you are ugly, the human race just may have enough of a chance.”

God save our children.

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